Sunday, April 27, 2014

Preparing to Say Good-Bye

How does one prepare to say good-bye to someone that you know does not have long on this earth?  I have gone through this with my dad and my chocolate Labrador, Calla and now I have to prepare myself to do it all again with Hannah.  There is no script and each is different whether they are two-legged or four-legged they are still part of our family and so very hard to say good-bye.
I am not a very religious person, more spiritually I guess one could say about me and I do believe that their spirit will live on in your heart and soul until you take your last breath.  I think about the people and pets that I have lost in the past and try to remember how I prepared myself but it's all a blur. I have never had to deal with anyone, person or dog,  with a brain tumour and at first I wasn't sure how to handle Hannah. 
I have a friend who send me an article on Anticipatory Grief.  I have never heard of this before but it hit close to home.  Anticipatory grief is when you know there is going to be a loss but it hasn't occurred yet.  The impact on your life is endless and unfortunately the closure to this grief is death.  I find myself at times so overcome with sadness that it wears me down.  Anticipatory grief is normal but what you go through while dealing with it is not. 
The hardest thing so far is coming to the realization that there is no cure for Hannah and making that oh so difficult call to her vet.  It was a decision that both Craig and I came to as we do not want her to suffer or be in pain, it's the last gift we can give her.   I guess the deciding factor for me was when she started loosing her balance and falling into furniture or falling down our two stairs, I would hate for her to injure herself badly.  Some days we have to physically help her up from a fall.  Her seizures are more frequent and we cannot increase her medications as she is at the high end dose.  She sometimes hides in dark places and has seizures when being touched which is so difficult on us as we want to love her up. I truly do not think it's a great life for a dog. 
Hannah has been a great dog these past 13 years and I have done whatever I needed to do for her to make her life wonderful.  I will not have any regrets just extreme sadness when we have to let her go on May 26th.  We will have four weeks left with her and we will enjoy every second we have together.  She will take her final plane ride in May and I am hoping that we can get her out to enjoy some warm spring weather in Manitoba when we arrive there. 
I leave you a few of my favorite pics of our Hannah Banana.
Talk Soon!
My beautiful girl

Always loved diving off of Nana & Papa's dock

Best sleeping position

Basking in the warm sun after a swim

Blitz is amazing with her - as you can see she is leaning on him
and he is standing there 'holding' her up.

My first and possibly my only selfie of us together


  1. What a beautiful post. I too will be sad at the passing of your beautiful Hannah. I have never had the pleasure to meet her in person, but I thank you for sharing her with us. This made me cry but I know she had a wonderful full life and will live to the fullest until the very end. <3 <3

  2. Beautiful...Hannah is blessed to have you and vice versa.

  3. What a beautiful post! As you know when we lost Chessy we knew she was failing and that it was a matter of time. It is so hard. Every trip I went on I wondered if she would leave us while I was away. It truly is dibilitating! You have given Hannah everything you can, both with love and medical attention. No regrets!! Enjoy your last weeks with her and we will all be here to virtually hold your hand and give you hugs when she joins Chessy and all of her GSP friends across the rainbow bridge!

  4. Hannah is enclosing the love and joy she has received from you in her spirit. And so do you. God speed, sweet Hannah! <3

  5. it is heartbreaking to lose a fur kid, but as you is the final kind thing we can do for a pet who needs to go. I have trouble saying that since we have had to do it far too often. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. I have to admit I'm shedding a tear for you now. sending Hugs too.

  6. Beautifully written. Hannah is blessed to have such loving and wonderful Mom and Dad. Thank you for sharing Hannah with everyone. Hannah will be greatly missed by all. Continued prayers for you Denise, Crag and Hannah. <3

  7. Oh Denise :-( :-( There are no words :-(

  8. Know that she will forever be with you, as long as you have memories. You will feel her presence as the wind kisses your cheek, a glimpse of a shadow just over your shoulder, or in a rainbow after an afternoon shower. God gave us pups so that we know unconditional love, but with that comes the terrible burden, the reality that we will probably outlive them. You are giving her your final gift of your unconditional love, knowing when to help her from this life. You loved her and she loved you right back, My furries ,Clancey and Gunny send you hugs and wish her soul safe travels.

  9. A beautiful post and shows the love that you have for each other...enjoy your time together, we are all there with you, manhy of us have been there and know the feelings you are experiencing....hugs to you all, Jane (and Tango, my heart GSP who I went through the same thing with)